Now that I have lost 20 lbs after 3 months of intense training and diet, I can gladly say that I am SO proud of myself. I know that I could have done better, yeah MUCH better, but during this phase I was depressed most of the time, due to the diet and the fact that i was not believing that I will do it. It was a feeling, a thought that dominated “If I couldn’t do it for almost 15 years, how am I gonna do it now?”, “My body is EXTREMELY stubborn and is not quickly coping with the diet, I am not losing enough pounds, I will never make it.” What a HELL of a depressing person could I be!!!
At this first phase, my only hope was to lose some weight, and to look a bit in shape. To turn from a person who struggles to find pants that fit to a person who could find her size EVERYWHERE. And guess what, my size dropped. It was the happiest moment in my life when I entered a shop, welcomed by the salesman who asked me if I want from a jacket a “Medium or a Large” as he cannot tell what my size is. Before then it was like “What’s your size?” and I always felt that in the back of her/his mind s/he is saying “Whatever you’ll try will not fit.” I cannot forget a saleswoman whom I asked for a pair of jeans my size and her answer was the RUDEST “You’ll not find your size in this shop.” I couldn’t stop myself from telling her “How can you say this to someone, this is rude.” She said that she didn’t mean it, she just meant that they only sell very small sizes, mmmmm…Whatever. I still admit that I wasn’t that fat, I used to find my size, but clothes didn’t look the same, and I did not have the choice to buy whatever I want, specially when it comes to pants.
Today, I am gonna start Phase 2 while FULL of energy & hope, I’ll no more be depressed, I’ll NEVER back down. You know that I have figured out that when you get depressed, your body resists weight loss??? When you are depressed, your body starts to release a hormone called cortisol which produces fats in the body, WTF!!! So don’t be surprised if you are on a very strict diet, but you do not lose weight or even start gaining some extra pounds, it rings a bell “STOP BEING DEPRESSED, it ain’t gonna help you in anyway.” Now my target is to become EXTREMELY fit, have muscles everywhere, no more fats or fatty areas in my body, but I am still doubting about who should be my role model, could you help me with that pleaaaaaaaaaaase?